Love the Imperfection

Emptiness is slowing creeping it’s way in again. It as though you’re my relapse, keeping me away from all the negative thoughts that are making it’s way into my head. I’m sad, scared. We don’t get to hold hands and walk home disturbing each other. We don’t get to seat down and talk about our dreams, our fears on the hill and hug each other while we cry our eyes out. I miss those times where we are just getting to know each other, the awkwardness are filled with my endless nervous chattering. I miss the ‘First’ things we would do together, the list we created but never completed. I miss itt, I miss it so bad

No wonder I’m this way, I remembered why I become this way, a lesbian. IT’s because I hate a male figure after that busted fuck up guy showed me guys are jerks and fucked up shit. Just because they are stronger than us, it does’t give them the fucking right to hit us and treat us like dogs. I fucking look down on girls who ALLOW themselves go through this because of LOVE. Then there’s my parents who thinks Im going to get pregnant when Im out with a guy. They are so paranoid because that fucker made a mistake. I’m sick of getting punished for someone else’s mistake, it’s not mine. Never was. Now they want to get me arranged marriaged? What happen to falling in love, you know when you’re nervous to meet the other party, when you spend hours trying on clothes after clothes to find the perfect outfit, the constant resentment and disapproval I get from the people that are supposed to me the closest to me is amazing. Im the one who’s going to spend the rest of my life with this guy, don;t you think I have the right to choose?! God.